Look how much I've grown!
I miss BeiJing
I miss the benefits of being in clubs
I miss not worrying how hideous I look.
But most importantly, I miss...
those good old times.
"Haiyayaya" Malaysian/Asian tone kicks in.. this feeling steering within me...
As I flip through the photo albums, speaking of photo albums...
WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO THEM.
that. honestly. annoys the hell out of me.
I miss the good old photo albums we had, those that were able to be safely kept and stored in our homes, flipping through pages.. reminiscing the beautiful moments we once had.
This issue never really got to me, up till today, at this exact moment...
"In a selfish world, the selfish succeeds"- Barbie movie.
As much as we would love to deny that statement, it is undeniably true...
The simplest least offensive example would be.. Me.
I've had so much happening lately, I've completely forgotten, deserted everything else that matters. But that's not my wrongdoing... it's just how life is.
I've never really said this out loud, though I've heard it a couple of times from others.. specificly from my sister... and I'd always be the one turning aside, wondering "Why in the world would you think that way, aren't you satisfied with life?"
& yet...now I'm agreeing with her point of view.
"I never want to grow up"
We can never turn back time, as much as we would LOVE to... looking at your parents in a completely different way as you would now..
"Papa, how'd you know I was pretending to sleep"
secretly thinking he knows it all, and he's psychic.
That thought will never come across in my life, ever again... and yet how much I missed being naive, so trusting, and so loving my dad.
I miss my family, and yet I don't make the effort to call them.
I miss talking to them, and yet I am afraid we'll run out of words to say, eventually turning to awkward silence.
I miss loving my parents unconditionally.
I miss being a child again.