Does anyone remember my "Dear Diary" posts?
I love typing up my "Dear Diary" posts every once in awhile, it's umm... very therapeutic... and reflective... and just nice to actually mute my music for a change. It's nice staying up late at night not stressing over exams, or the lack of preparation for our upcoming exam.. or how my life will turn out after leaving high school, stuff like that. It's definitely nice for a change.
Now that I have everything over and done with I can somewhat chillax to reflect on everything that has happened over the past couple of weeks...
Last couple of weeks felt like imprisonment and isolation, despite having loving friends just a phone call away... My perception of life was just gradually becoming more distorted each day... Each day I would see myself completing the exams with confidence, be swept into a variety of adventures that I never thought I 'd experience, and to just enjoy the company of my friends.. Each day I would sink deeper into my perception of reality, only to find out that it was all... a dream.. and throughout the day I would be in bed when I was clearly meant to be stapled onto the chair revising for exams... Each day.. I'd wake up and feel so terrible about not accomplishing anything, and escaping further away from reality to call a friend and everything would feel normal again. Each day, I could see a change in me, the person who I was and the person who I was becoming disgusted me.. But easier said than done, It was tough standing back up from the pit...
I just felt really shit.
"My father had really good results when he was my age, I know I can't be as good as him, but I want to show him that I can"
"That's awesome Darren"
"You know how both your parents did not graduate from High School, you could be the first to get into University, How about that?"
I love my family, friends, and most importantly my teachers.