Thursday, May 8, 2008

Is this OR is this Not my blog?
Am i OR am i Not allowed to voice OUT my opinions?
Am i OR am i NOT allowed to express my emotions in a healthy way?
I'm about to cry, laugh, yell, scream, weep, fall, in pain, confusion, laughter,paranoia,uneasiness, relief simply because of you.
What on earth did i do to you for you to react in such way? if so, when? where? when? how? why? OR was it what did I not do, that left your blinded furiously.
what the heck.
Yes, i may seem like a coward for writing it here by not confronting the issue, & a bigger bitch. yet how can i possibly?
i don't even know where to start with you.
bitch you told me so many fukd up things to say to me and of course, it's not true.
let me myspace profile.
yes.everything you wrote, is 100%bullshit met him once, and as soon as i added him and we were friends,ohhhhhhh
USE were friends.proof, you would never have been friends with him if it wasn't for me.
everytime i've been at your house, he would have no clue that we'd bag about him.
ahahahahha! he knows.and yet, you say on his profile,'omgg valera lets have a threesome with fiona !:O:O'
ye dumb leave me for fukn 2 months and say that shiit to my friend.oh but wait.he says, 'yesss, let's do it!'okay.i guess you both aren't my friends.
lets see if you can understand where i'm coming from.ever since the day that you left wheelers,you've been the biggest bitch to me.
you were my bestfriend.but now you choose not to write in your name'D is my bestfriend ahahah'ye that's soooo funny.
you seem so serious about our friendship like you told me, thenmake it out as a joke to everyone else.if you haven't noticed, i don't make friends to look cool or popular.i make them, because i love them.
not joke about it.that's why when everytime i called you, and everytime i texted you, and told you wtf was wrong with me,i'd let you know.and you, 'acting' as if you cared,change the topic and don't give a your house.
i told you about how my dad yelled in my fukn face and said all that shiit to me,then you're like
ye dad has a job in china and makes sooo much money blah blah blaaaI DON'T CARE.
i've listened to you 1000000 times,blab on about your families fukd up problems.
it's not my fault that they've ended up like that.everyone has problems.not just you.but i cared.cause i listened.and you won't even do the same for me.
what does that make of you?think about it.
you probably won't even reply to this oh wait you will and act like the little innocent girl
'awwwwwi'm so sorry alice'dklsghLSAkhflksadfjlk !
fuck off.i don't need your sympathy.i've heard it tooooo many times.and i don't want to hear it again.
maybe you'll understand.and maybe you won't.i just hope you know,how much you fukn ment to me as a've been there for me through so much in one year.
and it wasn’t worth it.
when she's practically said it all, am i such a bitch like she says i am? after reading the entire message, i cant help but feel partly responsible from all thas happend. Yes i have not been focusing much on this friendship, but yet.. be mature enough to accept the fact that we don't go to the same school anymores.
(bitch fact no1)
Friends are honestly truthfully not my first priority in life, as I see it.They are merely people whom you get along with.
"Friends come and go, only true friends will stay with you forever"
Though I have not been talking to my Malaysian friends in..well longer than i can remember, but they'll always play a huge HUGE role in my life. Knowing that we've gone through not much, but a lifetime worth of friendship. That's how Im seeing it in this friendship as well. Family and God's my main priority. The reason why'd i share my secrets to my "bestfriend" is because i honestly thought you were, and i apologize for not giving the same amount of care as you did for me. I was completely overwhelmed as i was reading the comment posted on myspace. I mean, wow seeing such long comment i bet it was something awesome. but instead, it was infact the opposite. Then again, i thought to myself.. where did i go wrong? Just last week we were getting along so well on the phone, catching up on life. Since neither of us could find time to meet up, plus the fact that we're heading to yr11. More responsibility & more pressure, life is no longer just about friends and socializing.
(bitch fact no2)
Though they are something i would like to differ, alice knew Valera through me, and as you said. We met once, but got along so well that even you were tempted to add him, how about yourself? every guy you've met are from the internet. Name 1 that wasn't from MR world of pedophile.
it hurts me to see that you think everything's all about you, whenever i get along with someone in real life, you seem to get your way and add them through myspace. It's time for a serious wake up call.
(bitch fact no3)
I meant every word i said on alice's profile. How much we went through, it was 100% sincerity NOT 100% bullshit. even you reckon we've gone through alot, but again its you who reckons our friendship wasn't worth making.
Well that's your perspective, every minute every second spent with someone is worth remembering, times spent with you was definately worth remembering, with fiona and cara. && my wheelers friends. How can that possibly be a waste? the laughter, joy , cheeky moments that was spent, doesn't it ring a bell to you?
(bitch fact no4)
the threesome was merely a joke, similiar to how u called me a whore?
(bitch fact no5)
as you mentioned earlier, you dont want my symphathy? nd me apologizing? "acting innocent" as you call it, i shall not then. Calling me bitch, fuck off, dumb bitch, bitching behind my back. What does that make you honestly? You have completely no idea how much u've hurt me, merely by saying those words.
I wouldnt mind as much if i saw this coming, but the truth is, i didnt. All these mixed emotions piling up, in a way i can't be bothered caring anymore, she's obviously made her mind by blocking me off msn, blocking me out of her life. We're in VCE now, no time for lil kiddie fights. On the other hand, i am completely crushed by the words she said.. but yet seeing this from her point of view, if she could possibly took her time to type all that out, it probably felt worse to be her than the reader who's currently typing this atm.

~life's a bitch, heaven's eternity

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